Daniel discusses the worldwide lunacy known as cellular phones, and why people who own them are dumb.

Daniel is amazed at how scrapbookers have invented quite possibly a dweebier language set than most computer scientists in the world.

Daniel dominates at cooking, and imparts his wisdom to readers.

Holy smokes this story is still going even past Christmas? Yup.

The toilet paper apocalypse, a supermarket showdown, and a lot of puke...Daniel continues his tale of his night out for Halloween.

Daniel begins the his epic saga of his cross-dressing Halloween experience at the movie theatre.

Daniel discusses the ridiculous brand names for cloth diapers.

Daniel explains how "Tummy Time" is essential to raising kids that won't live off of his money.

Daniel discovers Jessica's homemade children's book about Whitey the bear.

Now that Daniel is married and a father, women from all over are putting the moves on him.

Daniel compares his baby algorithm to the WhyCry.

Daniel gives into the readers demanding kid pictures.

Daniel describes the downfall of photography, and how he doesn't want to be "That" parent.

Daniel reviews the Fisher Price rain forest jail cell. Explains Manual Mode with "Marky Mark".

For some reason Daniel is really proud of doing chick stuff. He has issues.

Daniel is the victim of a blog chain. He kicks the crap out of it with his awesomeness.

Daniel goes to Shopko to buy a breast pump.

Daniel explains the gamer's law of cut scenes to women. Shut up the first time, or deal with it the second time.

Daniel purchases a baby seat from a junkyard. Pays too much.

Daniel introduces PH Dee.

Daniel gains empirical evidence that his child is ugly.

Eduardo and Jalisca visit Daniel in the hospital. Daniel receives a Jesus night light, and learns to swaddle like a Native American.

Daniel adds "Nummies" to his slang vocabulary. Dan purchase breast pads from Sid's Meds.

Daniel watches "P.S. I Love You". One nurse has heard of his site and hates it.

Never wake Daniel up at 6:00AM, unless you like seeing his junk.

Daniel's baby is born. It is fugly.

The child is coming.

Daniel's mental state continues its downward spiral. The demon child is prophecied to be born and lay waste to nations and punish those with kosher eating standards.

Daniel's sanity is in question as he uncovers a terrible secret at the birthing center.

Sober Daniel is bored to death at the hospital, decides to explore.

Daniel gets loaded on Sangria, Jessica goes into false labor, and Eduardo makes an emergency trip to the hospital in Tacos Los Gatos.

Daniel's family and friends bombard him with telephone calls. Their anxiety does nothing to influence the baby's due date.

Daniel keeps griping about money and countless doctor visits. Decides to deliver baby himself.

Daniel recounts moronic advice he's received in the past 9 months.

Daniel's wife thinks her water may have broken. Hilarity does not ensue.

Daniel explains the state of the economy. Eduardo explains his exodus from California.

Daniel compares women's reproductive systems to female dogs. The dogs win.

Daniel receives a modified Barbie doll gift from a fan. He applies his director skills to a commercial for the White Trash Knocked Up Mom doll.

Daniel discovers "Tacos Los Gatos" in his community and makes friends with Eduardo.

Daniel uses his sixth sense for lousy movies and shuts down a chick flick in its tracks. Jessica cries.

Daniel receives the "Insensitive Father Diaper Bag" from the ladies at work. It is filled with awesomeness.

Jessica throws a baby shower. Daniel is pretty sure it sucked, but wasn't invited.

Jessica gets molested by every freak in town. Daniel details how to feel a pregnant woman's belly up.

Daniel explains Toni Braxton contractions, and pays Doogie Howser a ton of cash.

Big Deal, it's Mother's Day.

Jessica invents "The Hatchback" method of fitting into her clothes, and tortures the fetus with frozen corn.

Foot Knuckles, shopping, and flipping off cars. Daniel goes shopping with Jessica.

Jessica throws up a lot and gets yellow teeth. Daniel's farts don't help.

Daniel shows concern over wife's increasing weight, and becomes scarred by the demon video Fit Mama.

Daniel gets blamed for wife's stupidity. Steals car as a result.

Daniel opens his warm arms to accept apologies from those who were angered at his April Fools joke.

Daniel decides that a fake woman man having a child has huge cajones.

Daniel recalls fond memories of his sheltered childhood, and tells the story of his first Easter.

Daniel goes with his wife to get an ultrasound and has a lovely conversation with the sonographer.

Daniel proves his artistic talent by making a beautiful picture of a rose. Out of toenails.

Daniel prepares for his wife's ultrasound by investigating ways to decide your baby's gender. The Gender Bender 4001 is invented.

Daniel succumbs to peer pressure and takes his wife to a romantic Valentine's date.

Daniel demonstrates how he spends time with his whole family.

A summary of why sports fans are dumb.

Daniel builds the most dope snow fort in the world, then stomps holes in neighborhood kids' creation.

The Cuteness War backfires as the mental health of Jessica spirals downward in a guilt driven frenzy.

Wife finds out about the site and Daniel must use his mad female manipulation skills to set things right.

A symbol of manliness and joy is tainted by the puke of a woman.

I have rewritten the book on baby names that shall henceforth be carried on throughout the generations of the mighty. Amen.

Starting off the new semester of school with stellar note taking skills.

Find out what your kid will look like after answering 13 simple questions.

Insurance is the devil.

Mothers claiming to be offended keep visiting the site.

Daniel explains the family curse, and how his grandpa died.

Daniel wages war against internet hippies.

Daniel is hated by internet hippies.

Daniel searches the interwebs for parenting information.

Daniel decides wifey must die to save humanity.

Daniel gives the gift that keeps giving to his neighbors.

Daniel's neighbors annoy him. He strikes back.

Daniel explains how he was conceived by a bottle of MGD.

Daniel explains the difference between alcohol and "Mommy's Bliss"

Wifey can no longer work.

Daniel's descent into suburbia begins.

Daniel admits he will fail at parenting.

Daniel writes about himself. He is the man.

Daniel's Mom is cool. Everybody else isn't.

Daniel gives up keeping the pregnancy a secret.

Drama for yo' momma.

People know that Jessica is pregnant even before she does.

Daniel isn't vaccinated. Jessica is pregnant. Hilarity does not ensue.

The rumor mill fuels idiocy.

Daniel describes the term "Butt Baby".

Daniel expresses his dislike for babies.